A Woman Watches Bond: Diamonds Are Forever
Diamonds…Diamonds in space…A satellites with diamonds and a laser. Yes, it can only be James Bond entering the Space Race…
There is much to like about this 1971 Sean Connery Bond outing — it has a really strongly paced and plotted story, visually jumping smoothly from location to location. Having said that, there are, (shock), no Astons! But there is a very gorgeous Ford Mustang Mach 1 which gets a lot of screen time, and that stunt, (and that continuity error). There are creepy evil dudes channeling Quentin Tarantino with ‘Mr Wint’ and ‘Mr Kidd’. There are cloned (or possibly plastic surgeried) villains and their cloned fluffy cats; perilous escapes from death; diamond clad chandeliers and Blofeld’s stunning modernist pad. Connery also performs Craig like stunts (on top of a lift) and Moore-like, on the side of a building, years before these later Bonds did the same.
There is diamond smuggling — I’m not sure about the South African diamond mine, because this is Apartheid South Africa (with black miners and white ‘bosses’). But it just shows how diamond smuggling might happen in a very fanciful way, and how the white work-based dentist prevents it (or doesn’t). The Tarantino Misters visit a sweet old missionary (who is somewhat patronisingly teaching local children literacy by speaking very loudly and slowly); but she is not all she seems — they bring her diamonds to carry to Amsterdam in a hollowed-out Bible. A very different mission — which doesn’t end well, for her, as we next see her body being fished out of the Amsterdam Canal, chillingly photographed by the two creepy guys. Via a geology and an art history lesson (and some vitner connoisseurship) Bond is put onto the case of the missing diamonds by appropriating an identity, which turns out to lead to the flat of…Tiffany Case.
Tiffany Case: Prototype Bond Woman (If the Script Would Let Her)
Jill St John is much more Bond woman than girl, although the script towards the end forgets this and makes her into a comic, inept ditz. The men’s quiff and eyebrow game is strong in this movie; and clearly most of the female wardrobe budget went to the circus acrobats as they have the most covering — I blame those big sleeves! Nudity is everywhere in this movie — although Sean Connery’s Bond joins in to even up the odds! From a 21st century female perspective it is cringeworthy (IMHO); although at the same time a peculiar kind of foxing the censors ‘British’ nudity, so there is nudity, but also covered up at the same time. This is not French TV style, but more Benny Hill! From another perspective, I have to admire Tiffany Case running around a flaming, exploding evil villain lair/oil rig under attack and constant gun fire from the CIA/World Order, in a string bikini, wedges and cropped cover up…Although the wedges are her downfall as she forgets to brace when shooting a gun and totters off the rig! (To be fair, she does get some good costumes earlier on, as she keeps disguising herself and reinventing her look, such as her 1970s does 1930s look on the plane with a beautiful scarf and Afghan coat).
Tiffany Case has got a bad rep for being shrill, comedic and a kind of whispering Monroe type, in constant ‘Happy Birthday Mr President’ mode. However, like Marilyn Monroe, she is a fiercely intelligent woman (and ironically in Tiffany’s case, a diamond smuggler). In between distracting Bond with her ‘getting dressed’ routine, she manages to dust his glass down for fingerprints and check his prints against his cover name — what a wardrobe! She’s also smart and skilled enough to hide diamonds undetected in a chandelier. She gets to drive her own flash car too, rather than waiting for Bond to drive her somewhere — even trying to stop Blofeld’s plan, three times!
Plenty O’Toole
Tiffany Case gets off lightly (although like Vesper, she must have given her parents hell for the name, atleast she has one). A sweet, ‘helpful’ (though not as naive as she sounds) character who hangs around casinos; either she’s waiting for Q to turn up with his gadget to break the bank; a thinly disguised sex worker; looking for a sugar daddy or charitably really likes helping men to win at the tables.
Swimming pools feature heavily in her story arc as she schmoozes Bond, then is chucked out of a window by a bad guy — thankfully landing in a swimming pool. The bad guy doesn’t care and sounds sorry that there was something to break her plummet. She is later drowned in one as in Bond world bad guys can’t tell the difference between one woman with long hair and another who has interchangeable wigs.
I do wonder why she was looking for Tiffany Case when she got mistaken for her and dispatched — to fight her for Bond or to pass on helpful information? It’s a sad story arc — no real name, there to be used, easily replaced by another woman — as once she’s been chucked down several stories of hotel sans glamourous evening gown and Bond fights the bad guys off, he easily switches to Tiffany Case when he comes across her in his bedroom, waiting for him. Perhaps she’s off his conscience (and mind) as he’s seen her swimming to safety; but it is a weird message that women are all interchangeable and like gadgets, disposable (or even worse, recyclable). Does she get her smart evening frock back? (Deleted movie scenes explain all, apparently).
Women as Background
The view of women here tends towards the sleazy; they are decorative and ornamental, mostly nude but with censor pleasing coverings! Nudity equals glamour in 1971? (Such as the OTT showgirls with the unfunny comedian telling beyond Dad jokes). However, there are bursts of character, women are more than commodities to hang diamonds on or body parts — such as when Plenty O’Toole rejects an unwanted sexual offer at the casino or protests when suddenly bad guys appear out of the dark of what she thought was a room containing just herself and Bond, alone. She doesn’t want to be in a room full of perverts! to be badly treated or as disposably as they make her. Bond does show some conscience too as he punches a bad guy for callously throwing her to her apparent ‘death’. It may also be a wider comment that behind the glitz and luxury of shining lights of the casinos and hotels complexes, there is a criminal world fueling it (allegedly).
Similarly, Jill St John’s character is put onto the trail of the diamonds and inveigles herself into Blofeld’s base. She is able to track Blofeld by following his white cat and is pushed into a taxi where Blofeld is waiting — in drag! There is a shift towards the end of the movie — she goes from street smart and sharp enough to work out the fake infront of her (and someone who can disguise her appearance), to not able to shoot a gun, falling off the rig unseen and needing to be rescued, and working it in a breathy Marilyn style whenever she needs to, perfecting the artful lounge. Though her pillow talk is to be admired as it’s all strategy! Equally is her covering up by not covering up a deliberate shock tactic?
At the end, in a wild change of character, all she can do is squeal, fling herself out of the way and watch Bond be strangled — though there are plenty of things around to whack over the villain’s head. To be fair though one of them is flambéed so…
Blofeld
Blofeld disguised as a woman — what to say? Can he be said to respect Tiffany Case when he’s bundled her into a taxi, effectively kidnapping — although seemingly brought on side, she is allowed freedom of movement on the base and her own sun lounger with reading material! He’s also thoughtfully provided her with a wardrobe/base uniform? Unless ofcourse he’s sharing his?!
What????
Disturbingly, in the circus, there is an act involving black woman who allegedly transforms into a gorilla. My jaw dropped — as although handled as a jokey fake of an incident, it’s appallingly and utterly racist and worst of all done through the gaze of a sweet little black girl in the audience. (The camera shot tracks this little girl’s line of sight). (Maybe there was some hidden social comment in there).
Bond and Women
Bond’s overall attitude to women was, I guess, more like the books in this one. Though protective and concerned when one of them was unjustly lobbed out of a window, he also seemed to panic every time Tiffany Case seemed to move towards commitment — although she could equally be about to bring up her witness protection programme relocation! He swore at Tiffany to provoke a reaction, distracting everyone from the cassette tape he was secreting in her pants! Ironically Bond’s true reaction was when Tiffany has smartly sneaked a replacement cassette tape to Bond, thought he’d blown the mission and tried to resolve it herself — only to find that they’d double crossed each other and that the cassette tape in place was the one actually used to control the laser…Humorously he called her a ‘stupid twit’, which given the swearier sleazier tone overall was either another censor pleasing moment or the real Bond coming through! (No wonder she stubbed out her cigarette on his chest hair — though does burning someone apparently equal sexy? A dubious Bond world action)…
What women want, Diamonds Are Forever suggests, are either diamonds, lots of them, or Bond (irritation, wine snobbery/expertise and all — though maybe expecting a civilian in inappropriate clothing to fire a gun was too much!) Or both? (Which will be fulfilled in Die Another Day).
Bambi and Thumper
After the terrible circus incident, a black woman gets revenge on Bond (and by extension script writers) by giving him a good kicking?! These athletic women are bodyguards it turns out, and in a very George Lazenby way, take on Bond to stop him getting to Willard Whyte. Sort of better names (maybe?) and they get to work as a team to stop Bond getting to their employer. Somehow, having pushed Bond into the infinity pool, he ends up semi-drowning them both to get information out of them — which they don’t give up. Because Bond is a professional and gentleman, he doesn’t lob them off the side of the building nor does he completely drown them, but hands them over to Felix Leiter for further questioning….
But This Is a Bond Movie, Not Real Life! Take Your Woman’s Gaze Elsewhere…
Bond is all about the naked sexy women, innit? Nonetheless, as a 21st century woman who enjoys Bond movies, I can’t help but critique things. Whilst Bond is its own made-up universe, it does reflect cultural/social commentary and ideas and has a wide reach of influence….
As I mentioned previously, there are things lots of things to like — the plot is very strong and cinematically moves from location to location rather than relying on lots of exposition. Noticeably the film is mostly very brightly lit (in contrast to the shadows of the Craig films overall) and big on glamour — from locations to props and locations. All the Vegas casinos gleam away! Bond’s bed is a fish tank with furs! (The ultimate groovy waterbed?) He’s in a replica White House with …Hamilton! Both Blofield’s pad and Willard Whyte’s infinity pool pad are beautiful — stunningly modern curving metal and concrete structures, with swirling stairs and sheer drops. The stunts are fantastic — after a somewhat dull chase up and down the Vegas Strip, Tiffany’s beautiful red Mustang perfectly goes up on two wheels to glide through an ally way. Humorously Bond speaks ‘English’ (as a Scots doing German/Dutch speaking English) to escort a bad guy into a lift and there is a thrilling fight as they, at very close quarters, trash a glass lift and Bond narrowly escapes with the help of an extinguisher. At one moment the bad guy opponent has got hold of a sliver of glass as...a knife. (It is hard to stop adding a Austin Powers voice saying, ‘Judo chop!’ at one point in the fight!) At another point, exquisitely suited, Bond sneaks into a secret base, assists someone struggling with their entry card, gets helped out too and impersonates the same person to carry out ‘checks’ in the lab. When confronted by a pompous scientist Bond becomes strongly Scottish, going full unionized rep, really emphasising the culture clash and escapes, narrowly avoiding detection before the real checks are carried out.
Equally beautifully done is Blofeld — creating a clone through plastic surgery and gloop; cunningly avoiding death by spa gloop in a confrontation with Bond and in a terribly civilized way, not ever revealing why they’ve covered a satellite covered in diamonds which lasers weapons to take over the world and force America/World Powers to do stuff/give them stuff. But none of these matters — they have a naffed off white cat in a diamond collar (and its clone); replicas of themselves; an exquisite modernist base with a sleek lift firing off gas at occupants and a winding metal staircase. (I was worrying when Felix Leiter’s team used the same lift later on — don’t press that button!) Cannot stress enough — the set design and architecture is great in this movie! Equally wonderful is Bond invading Blofeld’s oil rig base (which is being not stealthily attacked by noisy helicopters) and taking control of a crane which is harnessed to Blofeld’s escape pod. He’s in for a swinging time. As everything goes KABOOM, Bond executes a flawless dive off of the rig. And all the time the satellite laser was controlled by…cassette tape. (Cue Dr Evil pose please!)
Worthy of its own mention is the tech — the spinning mini satellites on…everything. The BIG flashing coloured buttons — Bond presses all of them. Blofeld’s three phones and a cassette recorder, which enables him to change his voice and impersonate anyone. Best of all, Bond and Q use the same tech to do it back to Blofeld — I love the voice impersonating. Also, Bond’s jolly jaunt trundling across the desert, having smashed out of a fake moonscape, in a moon buggy, which leaves security cars wheezing in its wake. The switcher-rooing of cassette tapes to stop and not stop a diamond encrusted satellite lasering World Power weapons, which glow red before exploding. The labs which have screens flashing away, computers which go ‘beepity beep’ and the whirling large cassette tape spools. After the fight in the lift, Bond is revealed to have killed…James Bond…(and he starts his impersonation in Customs, a nice sideline for international exports).
The humour is a strong asset too, with less Bond one liners. Such as Felix Leiter popping up in disguise to assist with the ‘body’ and Tiffany’s fall off of the rig unnoticed by Bond. Even Tiffany being called out by a small angry boy for fixing the water balloon game. And every time they mention Willard Whyte, I think of the tremendous opera singer!
Dame Shirley Bassey
Dame Shirley Bassey creates a wonderful theme song as women drip with sparkles, really appreciates the diamond by trying to grab it/worship it and the naffed off white cat reluctantly charges between them. (This is how you tell the original from the clone perhaps!)
Moneypenny
Has a cameo in Customs as Bond assumes his new identity and heads off on his mission. It’s nice to see her out on the field, although she just sighs after James (and spooks him with a request for a diamond engagement ring). Your time will come Moneypenny, in the Craig era.
On The Other Hand, It’s Not Just Women Getting a Tough Time…
American law enforcers have an awful time here too. Here and through the Moore years, is the trope of the overweight, thick, shouty American cop. For some reason, although they are local to the area, the Sheriff, police and security guards aren’t very good at pursuit, nor are their vehicles up to the local terrain. Admittedly the Blofeld base security guards are chasing a Moon buggy across the desert (and their cars don’t seem to like it — so they unleash the quad bikes, with sweet little flags on them). Equally in a somewhat dull chase up and down the Strip of Vegas, they weave in and out lines of traffic like moving up a jam, circle around and crash into walls. Bond finds a convenient ramp to jump — ofcourse the police try to jump too and fail to launch. As a comic turn, maybe they do better because they get to keep their clothes and have proper names, like Larry.
There Are Genuinely Thrilling Moments
In pursuing the diamonds, Bond impersonates someone, ends up accompanying a corpse to extract the diamonds again and ends up trapped in a coffin heading towards incineration. How will he get out of this one? Ditto the space buggy in the desert chase pursued by security guards in sand hating cars and then quad bikes. Blofeld invites Bond to take the lift, gases him (a hidden sleek design feature), which results in the creepy Misters bundling Bond into a car boot, sticking him in a pipe and seeking to bury him by having him constructed to death. In a nice Rabbie Burns touch, Bond communes with a mouse, avoids being zapped by a trolley thing fizzing electricity and finds an exit! Craig-ing before the Craig era, Bond stands sanguine in evening clothes and smart buttonhole on top of a lift to suavely deflect a fall by landing on a toilet, which has an enormous remote control next to it and a screen where the super villain can watch you and invite you up into the lair! Blofeld too is a strongly created villain (though the plan in the floor is never fully utilised as a device, and who knows what the sharp pointy lights get used for?); as are the watchful and ever present ‘Misters’ with their sinister comments, terrifying haircuts, very brown car, watchful activities and ‘jokes’. Wondering how their catering for Bond at the end is going to pan out — will their bombe bomb? (And how Bond dispatches them explosively). It turns out that Bond detects a villain by bad aftershave and in using the wrong words about beverages and offers his own version of hospitality back.
There is a romantic ending as diamonds are still a girl’s (or woman’s) best friend….(and I’m still wondering how Q managed to get all the cash from the slot machines home!)